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I went into the 7-eleven for a five dollar phone card. The man behind the counter had a yellow worm-shaped parasite growing out of his iris. I couldn't help watching it as he worked.

When I paid him, I gave him too much money so that when he gave me my change I could lean in and catch the parasite between my teeth. It resisted, but I persisted, and the parasite gave way with a champagne cork "pop." A trickle of purple ketchup blood blubbed out with it.

The man yelped, "Hey!"

The parasite was too ropy to chew, so I swallowed it whole. It tasted like puss and green apples.